Writing Mini Lesson #27- Revising a Narrative Essay- Exchange- Rockin Beginnings

   Writing mini lesson #26- was how to Rearrange text in revising.  Now we will focus on DARE to revise focusing on the E-Exchange.

The first mini lesson under Exchange is Rockin Beginnings.  Exchange the beginning of your story for a rockin one!

Start by reading the mentor text, The Paper Crane by Molly Bang and/or The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle.  

Here is another example to share.  Discuss how it grabs your attention!

Love, Ruby Lavender
By: Deborah Wiles
“Murderers! You can’t have them all!” 
Ruby Lavender leaned out the car window 
and shook her fist. The car lurched to a 
halt in the dirt yard of Peterson’s Egg 
Ranch, and Ruby scrambled out the door. 
She ran in bare feet as fast as she could 
into a dusty sea of chickens—a sea of 
chickens being herded toward their death at the chopping block.

Next, explain there are 10 different ways to make a rockin beginning!

1.   Onomatopoeia
2.   Question
3.   Amazing Fact
4.   Quote
5.   Excitement
6.   Opinion
7.   Humor
8.   Repetition
9.   Shocker
10. Curiosity

Use examples:  Dinosaurs

1.   Onomatopoeia- Stomp, Grumble, Growl
2.   Question- What if you came eye to eye with a Tyrannosaurus Rex?
3.   Amazing Fact-  Did you know the Brachiosaurus was 39 feet tall?
4.   Quote-  (doesn’t have to be famous)  My friend said, “This place is ancient!”
5.   Excitement-  Oh no!  The dinosaur is going to eat me for lunch!
6.   Opinion-  I think the change in climate killed the dinosaurs.
7.   Humor-  (simile or hyperbole)  The dinosaur is as fast as lightning!
8.   Repetition-  Help!  Help!  Help!
9.   Shocker-  It all started when I was in the mouth of a Brontosaurus!
10. Curiosity-  Imagine going back to the time of dinosaurs.

Ask students:
Which do you prefer?

   1.  Hi My name is Pam.  Or  Crash,  Boom, Bam!

   2.  I have a favorite teacher. Or  
       Have you ever had a teacher you will never forget?

   3.  Benjamin Franklin was famous in history.  Or  
        “If everyone thinks alike, then no one is thinking.”
        Benjamin Franklin once said.

   4.  A memorable vacation was skiing.  Or  I  jumped out of 
        the car, grabbed my skis and ran to the slopes!

   5.   Slides are fun.  Or  Whhhooooeee!  I love to zip down the slides.
        More slides are needed for our playground!

   6.  I want a dog for a pet.  Or  Roof!  Roof!  A dog in the house is
        like sunshine on a gloomy day.

   7.  I want Smoothies served at lunch.  Or  Smoothies!  Smoothies!
   8.  The Revolutionary War was in the 1700’s.  Or
       “No!  Don’t shoot!”
Take notes and keep these ideas for each time students write!  It will be a great resource!
Next writing mini lesson #28- will be DARE to Revise- Exchange- Million Dollar Words
Like always, 
If you would rather have all of the these mini lessons (over 400 pages) in one spot along with tracking forms, goal forms, prompts, practice sheets, etc, etc.  Click on the pic below!  Boost those test scores with a year-long writing program!

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    April 19, 2017 at 2:47 pm

    […] WORD CHOICE!  I call it MILLION DOLLAR WORDS.  In case you missed the last mini lesson, it was on Rockin Beginnings– ways to begin a narrative essay.  Moving onto WORD CHOICE, I have a step-by-step approach […]